A Father's Love

My Father: Romulo Dacoco

I grew up not really knowing my Father. It was not like he just walked out of my life one day… It was more like a crossing of paths with a little destiny mixed in. I understood the reality of all the circumstances involve in why I did not have a father growing up.

In all my years of not know him, I never once judge him for not being there when I needed him most. As for my Mother I will always love her. I try not to dwell on the past for its negative energy, but more for its positive energy. The reality is a child can not raise a child especial when that person has many difficult life challenges of their own. The primary issue being, not having a strong family unit there when she needed them most.

The problem is, they are too busy learning how to survive to teach another child the proper skills of love, compassion, dreams, future, balance, mental health, physical health, confidence, pride, fear, respect, and over all wholeness.

Every child has its best chance at survival and life success if they have a strong family unit. I know there are many success stories where there was only one parent to fill this role a strong family unit was still maintained, but those stories are not the standard. They are an exception to a very difficult way to start life.

Growing up without a Father or a Mother was not something I asked for, but it is something that I promised myself that I would never let happen to my own children. I am so happy that I have such a great wife to share the experience of parenthood with. I could not have asked for a better person to have as a partner and team mate. We both have had our challenges in life to over come, but together we have helped each other conquer more than we ever thought possible as individuals.

Together we are creating our own family unit. Blending the best of our lives lessons together to create a positive, forward, and increasing force of family love and strong values. I am not saying that we will not make mistakes. Nor dose this mean we will not repeat mistakes. It means that we will do the best to learn from our mistakes and pass that on to our children by being strong positive role models.

In May of 2006 I was able to see my Father for the first time. We had several recent conversations at that point since I was able to find my family in the Philippines on a trip there in 2004. My Father was away working at the time. He is a merchant marine and they are often away from their families for long periods of time.

The most impressive thing I saw in him was how much he loves my brother and sisters. I saw it in the way they respected him so much even though he was gone so often from their lives. I also saw how much he loves me in the way that he treated me no different than my brother or sisters. It was like we always had this close family. You would feel his love in the way he looked at you and how he listen with so much care.

Even though I only had a little over two weeks with my family when my father was home I felt like we had a bond that had been broken all these years. Only before it was in our dreams and now it lives in our realities. I know and under stand the sacrifice my Father has had to make to give my brother and sisters an opportunity at life that is not possible for many Filipino families living in the Philippines.

Like me he grew up without a father and he carries the same promise as me, never letting his children grow up without a Father to love and teach them well. Now that we are in each others life I can feel his heart thinking of me more now than ever before. I am not quite sure what it is about us but, I just felt this special understanding with him. I know my Father is not perfect, no human is, but he is my Father and I am proud of him and glad that I can now call him Papa.

As I am just at the beginning of my own fatherhood I see my Father as an example of who I would like to be. Doing the best he can to love his family with everything he has to offer. Even though I understand his strong love of the sea I also know a moment hardly passes without him thinking of home and missing family.

I love my children with all my heart and I will do the best I can to be the best father I can. My dream is for my children to love and respect me as I love and respect my father and for them to love and respect themselves as I love and respect them.

I dedicate these words to my Father for Father’s Day - Sunday, June 17, 2007

I also share my Father’s Day present with him… The Birth of my daughter and his granddaughter